


where else would i be?

by cpt_stvngrntrgrs



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), F/M, bc i think they'd be all sad and shocked, but steve and nat still has time to be cute, i tried but it was a little difficult, i tried to put as much fluff as i can in respect to the current situation, post-IW, theres a bit of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 18:19:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18530536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cpt_stvngrntrgrs/pseuds/cpt_stvngrntrgrs
Summary: They might be heroes, but they’re still just human after all. Steve and Natasha deal with the aftermath of the snap.---For anon(s):"post snap romanogers prompt pls! a little angsty from the start then fluff in the end and please include a bruce/natasha closure (not many people write about them) angsty but fluff all the way!"+ "Detailed Romanogers Endgame Trailer please maybe add a plot twist (secretly a couple or married) we need a lot of these!"





	where else would i be?

Steve woke up, his chest heaving, and covered in sweat. He sat up abruptly, feeling the world spin around him. Digging the heels of palm into his eyes, he rested his back on the headboard and weakly peered an eye open to look at the time. _3:27 am_. His face felt sticky and swollen - probably from all the crying and lack of sleep as they tried to comprehend what just happened. _So it wasn’t just a dream_ , he thought. It’s been less than 36 hours since the “Snap”, as they ruefully call it. In just a literal snap, Steve’s life came tumbling. He lost his Bucky, _again_ , Sam, and so much more. They lost half the universe. They lost. If only he- Steve shook his head. He could’ve done so much to prevent Thanos, but alas, it wouldn’t have been enough. His own efforts weren’t enough.

Sighing deeply again, he looked down at the lump next to him. Natasha looks so peaceful when she sleeps, though her forehead was scrunched up, just like as if she was thinking in a mission or she’s upset about something. Steve reached down and gently rubbed the crease in her forehead, making her more relaxed in her sleep. Despite everything, Steve let out a small smile, and slowly stood up from the bed, trying to make as little sounds and movements as possible as to not wake her. This has been the first time they all had actual sleep since they went to Edinburgh to get Wanda and Vision.

He made his way to the kitchen to drink some milk. It took him multiple times to get the right switch on - he’s stayed at T’Challa’s for numerous times already but his mind is just not with him that time. It felt weird, walking around Wakanda like this, especially knowing that he’s partially responsible for bringing the fight here. Although no one has outright said it, Steve does blame himself for that. He underestimated Thanos and his mission, but he just couldn’t bear the thought of losing Vision if there’s a way to save him. He didn’t want Wanda to lose that one thing that’s helping her stay sane, he-. Steve stopped his thoughts in its tracks. He just knew that he has to make this right and that he has _a lot_ of apologizing to do.

Steve took the glass of warm milk with him and stood by the window overlooking Wakanda. It’s dark so there isn’t much to see, but still, through the fog, he can see it - the destruction, the fight’s after effects. He shut his eyes tightly, took a sip of milk, and focused on happy memories. He stood here with Bucky when he was first out of cryo - helping him remember who he is, talking about the good ol’ days. When he got to talk to his best friend about the 1930s like it was just yesterday.

Steve sniffed, feeling a whole new wave of emotion about to overtake him. That was until he felt two arms around his waist, hands clasped on top of his abdomen. He felt Natasha rest her head on his back and heard her inhale deeply. “Please don’t leave me,” her voice was quiet, but it resonated in the dark room, and Steve’s heart ached. The rest of the team - those of them who are left - had an unspoken rule of not leaving each other alone. They were scared, paranoid even, since they weren’t sure if that elimination of the snap was really over. Seeing someone they love disappear in front of their eyes, and into literal thin air, has been really traumatizing.

Steve set the glass down on the windowsill and turned around to envelope Natasha in his arms. She settled into him, her body fitting perfectly against his. She buried her face in his chest and closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. Steve used his thumb to gently rub circles on her back, a motion that he noticed really helped calm her down.

“I’ll never, _ever,_ leave you,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head. He remembered the moments after the _snap_ , seeing Bucky turn to dust in front of him and Vision into a lifeless machine. He remembered the panic that numbed him, not knowing where Natasha was. But he was paralyzed, unable to move and comprehend what really happened. He wanted to run, to scream for her name just to make sure that she’s alive, but he couldn’t. And only when Natasha ran back to them - to _him_ \- that he felt that he actually lived. Steve could feel the remnants of that sheer panic and he hugged her a little bit tighter because even now, he’s still thanking his lucky stars that he has her in his arms.

\--

“I thought I lost you too,” Steve broke the silence between them. They went back to their room after Steve finished his milk but neither of them could sleep.

“Hm?” Natasha hummed, blinking her eyes sleepily. She was curled into his side, his arms around her. She feels a little bit warm from the heat he’s emitting but she learned to get used to it, and besides, he feels like a very warm comfortable blanket.

“After the snap. I didn’t see you right away and I got scared,” Steve explained, voice low. Natasha peeks up at him. His eyes are glued to the ceiling but he’s absentmindedly playing with her hair. Even in the darkness, she could still make out the sparkle in his eyes and the threat of tears that come with them.

Natasha stayed silent, not really knowing what to say. She felt the same thing - fear, panic, and everything in between. But this is the first time Steve opened up about what happened. They spent the past days and a half scouring for ways to undo the snap, for ways to fight Thanos. Doing damage control, looking for people. There was no time for emotional talks, although everyone’s puffy and red eyes do speak for themselves.

“When Bucky disappeared… I lost him again… Then so many more followed, and I-” Steve’s voice broke and he cleared his throat. “And I thought you were one of them…” he continued. He shifted, flinging an arm over his eyes. Natasha pressed a soft kiss on his chest but, her reminder that she’s still there. “I was so scared and a million thoughts flew through my mind but my main focus was _you_ , Nat, I couldn’t lose you. You’re the most important person in my life and god knows what I’ll do if you were one of them.” Natasha’s heart ache and she teared up at that.

She sat up and propped herself on top of Steve, her elbows on either side of him, holding herself up. He moved his arm away from his eyes and she cupped his face with both hands, her thumbs brushing away his tears. “Steve, I’m here, I’ll never leave you,” she assured him and leaned down to kiss him.

Steve smiled into the kiss and Natasha felt him relax under her. She pulled back for a little bit to rest her forehead over his and closed her eyes. “Good, because I can’t live without you.”

Natasha let out a small chuckle, pecking his lips one more time. “ _God_ you’re cheesy.”

“I’m just being honest,” Steve reasoned. Natasha shifted and lowered herself so she can once again use Steve’s chest as a pillow. She learned this is the best place to be if she wants to sleep well, especially when they were at uncomfortable motels after missions.

“You’re always honest,” she mumbled, hoping Steve would catch her point. And judging by the way his chest vibrated from his laugh, she’s certain that he did.

\--

The next day was planned to be a lowkey day. Instead of spending it by crazily trying to figure out the move against Thanos, they decided to try a calmer approach. Besides, they were waiting for Fury’s “contact”, who’s supposed to arrive soon. They hope.

Natasha and Steve decided to take a break from monitoring Thanos’s actions by playing video games on the couch in the living room. Although there were enough couches for the two of them to comfortably sit in, they just _had_ to be attached at the hip in one couch, with Natasha practically tucked under Steve. Their legs are tangled together and stretched out in front of them as their focus are on their games. They were giggling to themselves and completely in their own bubble.

Rhodey and Okoye were drinking coffee by the kitchen islanda and watching the two of them. Okoye then looked at Rhodey with raised eyebrows, tipping her mug towards the two, as if to ask, “what’s with them?” but Rhodey just shrugged. He suspected there _might_ be something going on there but he was never exclusively told so. However, the scene in front of him gives him more than enough evidence to prove his conclusion.

Bruce walked in the room, having just woken up, and rubbing his eyes. He stopped halfway in and stared at Steve and Natasha, who were both engrossed in their game that they didn’t notice the doctor sauntering in. Rhodey’s eyes widened at seeing Bruce all but stare at the couple on the couch. He looked plastered in his place and Rhodey internally winced. “Doctor Banner, you’re up!” He called out, which seemed to snap Banner out of staring at the two.

He saw Steve’s and Natasha’s head shoot up and scan the room, eyes landing on Bruce four feet away from them. The room stilled and an awkward silence came upon them. Okoye looked between Bruce, Natasha, and Steve and frowned. She had a weird feeling about this….

“Care to have some breakfast? You could just let us know what you want and one of the chefs, uh, I mean, the chef can make it,” Rhodey offered, breaking the silence. Bruce looked at him, and blinked, looking confused.

“U-uh, y-yeah, yeah, um, give me a second, I forgot something in my room…” Bruce trailed off and went back through the way he came in.

Steve and Natasha looked at each other quietly. Rhodey watched them intently, knowing that the two are having some kind of freaky telepathic conversation that people who know each other well seem to be able to do. After a few more moments of starring, Natasha untangled herself from Steve and stood up, following Bruce, as Rhodey can only assume. Steve looked at him and Okoye, ears turning red, and offered them a sheepish smile. Rhodey smiled back and took a sip of his coffee, making a face at Okoye’s confused look.

\--

Natasha knocked on Bruce’s open bedroom door, seeing him pace back and forth into the room. “Uh, hey Bruce, can we talk?”

Bruce all but jumped up in surprise, blinking at her for a second before nodding wordlessly. He sat on the edge of his bed and Natasha looked around, grabbing a chair and setting it in front of him for her to sit on. She would sit next to him but… awkward….

“Um, I know it’s been a while, and the last I saw you you were, uh…” Natasha trailed off, looking at him and hoping for him to continue, but Bruce can only nod. “Yeah.. and we looked for you but we just couldn’t find you. Tony has worked tirelessly to track the quinjet but it seemed like you just disappeared.”

Bruce cleared his throat and let out a puff of hair. “Oh.. yeah. Um. The quinjet brought me to Sakaar,” Natasha furrowed her brows in confusion and Bruce waved a hand, “long story, I can explain later with Thor’s help.”

“Okay… well, you know, um, that’s been kind of a few years ago. Steve and I trained the New Avengers. Then eventually, I think you kinda know about how Tony and Steve had a fallout, and long-story short, the team broke up, Steve, Sam, and I went rogue, fighting the battles that the team _should_ be fighting, but couldn’t. And you know… in the process of it,” Natasha glanced at Bruce, who was staring intently at her, but she looked away again, “Steve and I… got _together_.”

Natasha looked back at Bruce, trying to judge his reaction. He remained speechless, but he smiled after a while. “Wait, were you scared of telling me this?” he asked. Natasha frowned and shrugged. “Nat, hey, I know we had a…” he paused, trying to look for the right words, “ _thing._ But that’s okay, it’s in the past. I know you all thought I was dead. It would be selfish of me to ask for you to wait. I’m glad you moved on, and with Steve too. I can tell he might have had feelings for you since back then.” Bruce explained.

Natasha processed what he just said and blinked at him. “Really?” she asked, to which Bruce nodded. “Wow,” she blew out a breath and chuckled. “I thought you’d be upset.” Bruce shook his head.

“Like I said, it’s been a while. You guys are my friends, my _family_ , of course I wouldn’t be upset.” he reassured. They stood up and gave each other a brief hug before walking back to the living room.

Once there, they found Thor and Rocket already awake, eating breakfast at the table with Rhodey and Okoye. Steve was taking something out from the fridge and he glanced at Natasha and Bruce and back to her. He raised his eyebrows and she gave him a smile, in which he reciprocated towards her and Bruce.

Natasha sat down on the seat across from Thor, and Steve took the seat next to her shortly, after preparing her coffee and setting it down in front of her. She took it and gave him a thankful smile. Steve reached for the bread basket in front of them and put a freshly toasted bagel on Natasha’s plate as she sips her coffee and checks the message she just received.

Steve just finished putting cream cheese on one of the slices of Natasha’s bagel and was reaching for the other one when Thor, who was quietly chewing on a piece of _plain_ bread rolls, let out a noise. “Hmm.” Natasha and Steve looked up at the people around the table. Being so engrossed in their own routine - their _own world_ \- they didn’t notice that the small chatter died down and everyone was looking at them. Thor narrowed his eyes and looked back-and-forth between the two, “How long have you been fancying each other?” he bluntly asked.

Steve looked at him with wide eyes but Natasha just smiled. “It’s been a while,” she answered calmly.

Thor thought about it for a moment before nodding wisely to himself and grinned. “I like it!”

  
Steve smiled shyly and glanced at Natasha, meeting her eyes. They could hear each other thinking, _We like it, too._


End file.
